Today I was meditating for a few moments on the color orange. Well, actually, I was meditating on the word. And I thought to myself, Orange. Or-an-ge. Or. And. Ge? Shouldn’t that last part be “but”? Are you following? The word orange is made up of 67 percent of our common English conjunctions! Or, And, but there is no But. I propose one of two changes:

1. We change the name of the popular citrus fruit to Oranbut. Would you like a glass of oranbut juice? John broke my oranbut crayon! Oranbut you glad I didn’t say banana?

2. We change the popular conjunction “but” (and maybe also “butt”) to the new word, “ge” (pronounced “Jeh,” or sometimes Geh”). I was going to go to the movie, ge my mom decided I was grounded. I was going to wear my orange trousers, ge my sister had set them on fire. What a pain in the ge!

Oranbut.

Or. And. Ge.

Okay, who’s with me???