You were wrong when you said everything’s gonna be all right.

Monday, June 16th, 2008

After a post like yesterday’s, it’s only fair that I take my only ten minutes of free time today and share the good news, that in fact I still have free internet! Frinternet, I’d like to call it. Frinternet for all, I say!

This morning I ironed my shirt but I only got some of the wrinkles out. Maybe this had something to do with my method, using a partially heated iron on my kitchen counter, for lack of an ironing board. Do I approach all tasks in my life with such haphazard laziness? (There is, of course, a more colorful term for this.) I still haven’t mailed in my ponytail that I am supposedly donating. I open my mail weeks after I receive it. I can’t stop drinking soda.

Oh, but I’m not worried about those things.

Today in class we watched this talk by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor who is a neuro-scientist and also a stroke survivor. You’ve probably seen her on Oprah or other such inspirational venues. In the video she describes with fascinating detail the process that she went through as she realized that she was having a stroke, oscillating between a state of blissful detachment and frustrated logic due to damage in her left brain. As she was on the edge of consciousness before going into operation, Dr. Jill had the awareness that she would either live or die, and she surrendered herself to that. When she woke up she realized that she was alive, and also came to believe that by allowing ourselves to become intimately familiar with both our right and left brains we are able to experience Nirvana while living (at least that’s how I interpreted her statements, I could be horribly butchering them). Now it’s interesting to hear a left-brained woman who has lost some control of her left-brain to say this. But what about a right-brained woman such as myself? Will I find “Nirvana” by embracing my logical and mathematical side? Will I feel freedom by increasing the structure and rigidity of thought in my life?

Maybe one day, will I take the logical step to purchase an ironing board and allot adequate time for ironing my clothes? Will I order my days’ activities to minimize idle time and become more efficient in all things, including hair donation? Will I be able to face temptation and addiction in the face and say, “My left brain tells me that soda is bad for me in a variety of ways, so I refuse to put it into my body”? I don’t know if I would call those things freeing, but it could certainly lead to some positive life changes.

My left brain is telling me to wrap this up so I can get to bed. Then my right brain has some dreaming to do!

3 Comments

  1. Posted June 17, 2008 at 7:20 pm | Permalink