Cleanup in aisle 1995.

Wednesday, November 26th, 2008

Last spring I wrote a somewhat confessional post about a really stupid yet angsty daydream that I had invented as a preteen.  I feel compelled to share another equally ridiculous fantasy that I just remembered (I was a really strange kid, I guess.)  I’m stranded in a grocery store.  Stranded is too mild – I’m held there against my will.  I don’t know who, or how, or why the heck this is taking place, I mean, I guess I couldn’t be bothered to imagine those particulars.  All I know is that I’m stuck in the grocery store after hours and I can’t leave.  And I’m not alone.  I’m not stuck there with the cute boy in class, that might have made some sense.  Usually I’m there with whoever my current hero is.  I distinctly remember this daydream playing out during my No Doubt Tragic Kingdom phase (Beck, you remember it!) and I was trapped in this grocery store with Gwen Stefani.  And of course there was a healthy helping of angst, served up on a cold deli platter.  “Why can’t we just leave??” I would half scream to an equally befuddled Gwen Stefani.  In a fit of what can only be described as pure adolescent torment I grab a can of spaghetti sauce off of the shelf and hurl it at the tile floor.  It shatters, of course, and the floor is covered in broken glass and cold tomato sauce.  I crumple into a ball and cry, and Gwen does what she can to console me.  Seriously.  What the heck was wrong with me?  The really strange thing is that I was pretty popular in middle school.  Middle school was actually the climax of my popularity, believe it or not.  Probably because people could not see what kind of uninspired culinary ska-pop melodrama was teeming inside my head.  I had normal preteen daydreams as, well, I swear!  I just can’t remember those.  For those of you who knew me back then, thanks for being my friend.  If my mom paid you, don’t tell me, I’d prefer to live in ignorant bliss.

Now, for those of you who are Wiederhoeft historians, you’ll be pleased to know that I have finally imported my old Blogger blog here, and I’m thinking about importing even older blogs, like Pacific For Now and Reign Blue Feign Blue (my now-offline California blogs) and maybe even the blog that started it all, the Xanga.  Of course none of us will ever read the blog that was tragically deleted that one fateful summer day (I still curse thee, Blogger!) but 5 out of 6 isn’t bad.


  1. Posted November 29, 2008 at 2:51 pm | Permalink